Spider Kitty!

So, another morning, early. Noticing that Jack and Gracie are still sleeping peacefully on Sandy's face (>snicker<...have I mentioned that's really funny?), I quietly sneak into the bathroom and shut the door, in order for me to get ready in a calm, kitten-free zone (at east for a short while). 

Shower, shave, comb hair, brush teeth (nice being able to enjoy the minty freshness of Crest and Scope without the oh, so cute Little Ones sharing their morning bodily function rituals with me..)

Having pretty much finished my morning toiletries, I crack the door in order to let them in, in case they need litter box, food, or drink. They pop in, calm as can be, and receive the obligatory pet and scratch from said human.

Now, I turn away to perform the last step in my getting ready: Put in my contact lenses.

About this time it is revealed to me that Gracie, mild-mannered fur ball at the Sacks residence, is, in fact, the great super-hero "Spider-Kitty"! She has used her spidey sense to realize that I haven't paid attention to her in all of 45 seconds. Just as both hands are occupied, precariously lining up my contact to apply it to the delicate membrane of my eyeball, Spider-Kitty decides to use her wall-climbing powers to climb up my pant leg in order to reach my shoulders, where additional attention and petting will be had.

The fact that I'm not wearing pants is of no concern to her.

Four sets of claws suddenly embed themselves into the flesh of my shin (who knew that spiders had such sharp claws?). In case you are curious, the human skin on the front of the shins is strong and resilient enough to support the weight of a kitten.

Needless to say, while this may be perfectly natural for Spider-Kitty, this does present more than just a little discomfort on the owner of the aforementioned shin. And did I mention that both hands are pre-occupied with a contact lens? To use my hands to extricate the little furry grappling hook, I run the risk of impaling my eye with my index finger. The only other option that comes to mind (yelling in pain is a given) is to shake the leg, and let gravity aid me in my dilemma.

Ok, Option two it is. A robust shake and Spider-Kitty is removed from my leg. Have you ever noticed that cat claws angle backward? And if they are in a vertical position, the angle of the claws happens to be the same direction as the force of gravity? Ever see flesh peel back so it looks like a bunch of curly fries?